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Well Conceived July Competition

11:03 am by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Well, Summer is here and blue sky ahead.

I am giving away 2 FREE places on my well conceived pre-pregnancy course if you are interested just pop your name and email in the boxes below.

Would you like to…………

Feel more positive and less stressed?
Get out of survival mode and start putting the fun back into your life?
Start feeling in control of what’s happening to you?
Have a set of tools at hand to help you through the bad days?
Stop living in fear?
Gain a sense of perspective and purpose?
Learn how to relax properly?
Build your self-esteem and confidence?
Move your sex life up a gear?
Stop living in the past or the future but in the here and now?

For more information on the course click here

How Singing Along During Labour Can Help

7:48 am by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Using music to ride out labour pain?

Going back a long way 1988 to be precise I had a sony walkman and cassettes for singing along during labour. For those of you who are too young to remember this was a small device, you could play music on and carry around with you. Now we have the iPhone.

In early 1988, I had three favourite artists Terence Trent Derby, Michael Jackson and Bill Joel whose music I enjoyed and listened to quite a lot. In fact, after a few months, I could sing along all be it painful to listen to for those around me, I knew all the words eventually. I have to say at this point I am no singer, I stand in the camp of tone deaf so I am told but hey who cares I had a plan.

MY PLAN TO HELP ME DURING LABOUR

After my first labour not going quite to plan I figured out that if I got so engrossed with music it might help me during the next labour ahead. My waters broke two weeks early so I made sure I grabbed my Sony Walkman along with my cassettes. Once I was admitted and ushered into a room I quickly put my plan into action. This was not my first baby so I knew what was ahead.

Once the labour was in full flow I got my sony walkman out. With my headphones strapped to my head singing loudly along to my Terence Trent Derby, Michael Jackson and Bill Joel cassettes I realised my plan singing along during labour was actually working. I felt sorry for my husband and the midwife having to listen to me.

As the labour pains were getting stronger I was able to ride the pain better by focusing on trying to remember the words to every song it took my mind off the intensity of the waves of labour pains. Towards the last 10 mins, I also had some gas & air to push through the final stage. On the whole, I felt the labour went very well and my plan had worked. Music had really helped mind over matter by diverting my attention from the pain to trying to remember the words and singing them.

You can find visualisations can really help too, I cover this plus many more relaxation techniques on my Well Conceived course, even though you are now pregnant you still need to be working on yourself.

Hop on my mini visualisation course instant access to learning about visualisations just click on the link for more information.

Preparing for the birth

So for you ladies out there who are getting ready to have those little bundles of joy, give this a try, learn the words to your favourite songs put them on your phone or take in a mp3 player. You need to practice this and the better you will get, do not let your mind drift stay focused on the here and now. If you find yourself drifting into what’s for dinner, then take a break. Try and do this for about 45 mins a day, you can do this whilst doing other odd jobs, as long as you are concentrating on those words.

It is not to say that Singing Along During Labour method is the best but it certainly can help you along.

You could also try the below.

Mindful Hypnobirthing: Hypnosis and Mindfulness Techniques for a Calm and Confident Birth

Are You Being Tickled Pink At The Right Time?

10:49 am by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Let’s talk about sex and some of the misconceptions around TTC.

If you have sex around the 14th day of your cycle you will automatically get pregnant. Well we know this is not true, lots of women do not even have a 28-day cycle to start with.

Even if you have a super-regular, 28-day cycle, there’s a chance you might ovulate one or two days before or after the day you think you will.

You need to have sex at the right time to get pregnant. If you have sex when there is no fertile cervical fluid, or too long after ovulation has taken place, the sperm and egg will be like ships in the night, and you won’t get pregnant.

Sperm can live inside your body between 24-48 hours (and in some cases, up to a week!) after sex. If you’re hoping to up your fertility odds, starting to have sex 4 to 6 days before ovulation and then 4 to 6 days after.

But if you have sex at the right time, the perfect storm of Egg, Cervical Fluid and Sperm all singing off the same songsheet and bingo…BABYTIME.

Too much sex?? (Is there such a thing?)

Now for those who are wondering what I am on about, here’s the big news: more isn’t always better and in this case, it tends to do more harm than good.

That’s right because experts suggest that having sex on an everyday basis has the potential to decrease your partner’s sperm count rather significantly. The worst part is that his sperm count can take a couple days to rebound, so your chances of conceiving a baby are going to decrease as well.

If you think you are doing your conception chances a bit of a favour by having lots of sex, you’re wrong. Instead of helping yourself, you are only making things worse. So how much sex should you have to increase your chances of conception? Well, once you time it all down, experts recommend you to have sex on every alternate day, (so every other day). So instead of having sex every single day in the week leading up to your ovulation and in the week after it, get into the act every other day.

The use of lubrication

Did you know most lubrication is spermicidal, meaning it kills off sperm before it even enters your uterus? This is not to say that getting pregnant with lubrication is impossible (as it should not be used as a method of birth control), but it definitely decreases your chances. So if you want to use lubrication then look for fertility-friendly options at the pharmacy or at a fertility centre.

Business instead of pleasure

By taking all the fun out of sex and making it just about the business of baby-making, you could be doing yourself a disservice. Interestingly enough, a female orgasm may actually increase a woman’s chance of getting pregnant. After a female orgasm, the uterine wall contracts and (in theory) helps pull the sperm up toward the Fallopian tubes.
Also, some males get “stage fright” when sex is timed and preplanned, and his orgasm is definitely needed.

The Green Eyed Fertility Monster

12:59 pm by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Ok so I do not have green eyes but I am kind of cute!

There is the emotional side to TTC that is often not spoken about almost seen as TABOO – The Green Eyed Fertility Monster.

Let’s face it no-one like to admit to feeling jealous but heck we all do at times and never more than when Trying To Conceive.

When people are diagnosed with an infertility problem, it’s almost as if women with baby bumps or prams appear everywhere you look, plus infertility can leave you feeling excluded from a privileged members-only club.

TTC stirs up all kinds of emotions, jealousy, sadness, failure, guilt, anger, frustration which in turn increases your stress levels, in turn, this could be making it even harder to conceive, this catch 22 again.

Feeling jealous of a pregnant woman doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a human being – remember this fact.

Talking about fertility jealousy can be difficult even for the closest of friends especially if your friend gets pregnant. Be honest with her and tell her that you’re happy for her but also a little jealous at the same time and instead if talking about pregnancy stuff could we chat about other things.

Communicating your feelings in a constructive and honest way can help you – and those who want to support you. Most likely, your friend will understand what you’re going through and be supportive.

If certain celebrations like baby showers, christenings just feel too painful step away and send a gift, you do not need to give a reason and you do not need to put yourself through this.

Don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself.

In a nutshell, it’s OK to be angry and all right to be sad, jealousy is part of the package too. These feelings don’t make you a bad person, they make you a real person, with real feelings.

Talking in a support group can often be a big help and the internet has opened up this area. Sometimes it is easier to talk to people online who are in the same situation as you than to close friends face to face who do not understand.

It can be easy to get caught in negative thinking patterns that will only make matters worse: “I’ll never get pregnant” or “I should have tried to get pregnant before, and now it’s too late.”

Remind yourself that your fertility problem is not your fault and find ways to bring positivity and resilience back into your life.

So how can you help yourself

Learn new coping skills to handle the situation you find yourself in.

Work on your goal sheets, relaxation, diets, exercise, meditation try not to spend 24/7 focusing on TTC

Simple stress management techniques can help reverse the negatives effects of stress on your mind and body and boost your chance of becoming pregnant.

Plus, managing your stress gives you a better sense of perspective and improved self-worth which in turn becomes a powerful tool in dealing with infertility.

Stress relief should be a part of every couple’s conception plan especially if they are going through IVF also it is very important once you are pregnant.

Trying to conceive can be tiring emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. It affects your spirit, mind and body.

Let’s face it ladies, we are very complex creatures and lifestyle factors can influence our fertility, so keep a close eye on your diet, exercise and stress levels.

So, keep working at the below

Give your sex life a boost

Make sure you are getting enough sleep

Eat a healthy diet

Getting regular exercise

Meditate

Yoga

Empower yourself

Practice mindfulness

Make time for each other

Alternative therapies like acupuncture

Be kind to yourself

Treat yourself

Build up your self-esteem

Set goals outside TTC

Keep a journal this can help to see stress triggers and make a note of how you are feeling.

Remember no living in the past feeling regretful and guilty or living in the future daydreaming pull yourself into the present as you have control over this.

Is Stress Stopping Making It Harder To Conceive?

12:20 pm by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Is Stress Stopping Making It Harder To Conceive? Well, it could be but it is not as easy at just that.

If you’ve been trying six months or more to get pregnant I expect you have been told by well-meaning friends and family that:

“You’re just trying too hard.”

“Chill out and it will happen.”

“You’ve got to calm down and let nature take its course.”

You ask yourself – why should something so natural and easy for so many couples be so hard for us?

It is so unfair we are doing everything right but it is just not enough.

Then the guilt kicks in and you start blaming yourself if you were not so stressed you would be able to conceive which in turn stress you more.

Plus, your sex drive takes a dive which is not helping at all, a catch 22 and vicious cycle.

Research shows that trying too hard may play a part in a third of people trying to conceive.

You see stress can quickly run your body down, it’s used to everyday stresses and it’s completely natural and expected but too much stress will cause the body to go into survival mode so that your system can continue to function.

Part of this survival mode is making sure you do not become pregnant.

So yes, learning how to manage your stress is vital.

The path between stress and fertility is not clear but scientists found that those women with high levels of stress hormones can stop ovulating this is called “stress-induced anovulation” where your ovaries do not release an oocyte during a menstrual cycle. Therefore, ovulation does not take place and therefore you are unable to conceive.

The Adrenaline stops you from utilising the hormone progesterone, which is essential for fertility. It also causes the pituitary gland to release higher levels of prolactin, which also causes infertility to occur.

Also, note, if you’re stressed, your cervical mucus may indicate that something’s not right. Rather than noticing increased cervical wetness as you approach ovulation, you might find patches of wetness scattered with dry days. It’s as if your body is trying to ovulate but the stress continues to delay it.

It’s also possible that reducing stress may help enhance proteins in your uterine lining that are involved in implantation and it may increase blood flow to the uterus, which also affects conception.

Of course, then there is Stress Induced Reproductive Dysfunction – chronic stress causing lack of libido as well as a decrease in general fertility.

Simply put too much stress puts you off sex.

So, you see too much stress really does not help.

The Beauty Of Visualisation

10:08 am by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

WHAT IS VISUALISATION?

The Beauty Of Visualisation – Visualisation is a Mental Image you can create, also referred to as a Visual Mental Rehearsal (VMR).

WHY IS VISUALISATION IMPORTANT?

Our mind plays an important role in the creation of our experience, and therefore it may be possible to ‘program’ our mind and body to act in a certain way to gain positive results.

A visualisation can be a very handy tool if used correctly and can help get you through difficult times. The idea of a visualisation is to transport yourself into what you are visualising. You are creating a mental image and using your senses to achieve this.

For success
Athletes are taught to visualise winning and holding the medal, what if feels like to win, the euphoria of collecting your medal, the crowds screaming. What it feels like to touch the medal, what you feel like now you have the medal, the sweet smell of success.

Of course, you need to plan your visualisation, thinking the process through helps to focus the mind on potential problems and how to overcome them. This in turn then helps you to overcome those problems when they arise. This is the beauty of visualisation it can be practised beforehand in preparation.

For addiction problems
Patients are taught to visualise how they will deal with the temptation of alcohol, drugs, comfort eating etc. Then when the temptation comes along they already have a tool in place to help them.

For sleep problems
Visualisations can help to take you to your place where it is peaceful and relaxing. They take you away from trying too hard to get to sleep again a distraction and before you know it you are asleep.

For pain relief
I had a slight twist on this one as I actually try as much as possible to tackle pain relief through music and image creation. On the run up to past operations I listened to and memorised several music tapes and took them and my sony walkman into the hospital (this was long before Itunes). Alongside this, I had created a mental image of me singing on the beach with the sun beating down on me, the smell of the sea and the sand between my toes.

Through the pain I sang along and went to my mental image of me singing on the beach. As I knew all the words this was a huge distraction from the pain as I was trying so hard to remember the words.

For all the above they need to be different visualisations to help overcome different problems, one does not fit all.

So try and figure out what kind of visualisation you need to create, is it for relaxation, to succeed, to prevent temptation, better sleep, pain relief etc.

Visualisations can help to take you to your place where it is peaceful and relaxing or build you up for success.

Design You Own Visualisation

Think of your favourite place or memory
Write this down
Pick an image & colours to go with this, I always find this helps if it is a warm place, though if I think of something cold I feel cold. Have a go & try various ideas.
Record this on your phone or computer, do not worry how it sounds, this is just reinforcing the visualisation in your mind.
This needs to become so familiar so you can go there whenever you need to.
I expect there are even apps to help you now as well.
Then practice, practice, practice

Road Rage – Nearly Run Over By A Porche

10:11 am by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Nearly Run Over By A Porche, well let’s face it there are worse things to be run over with but this is was a typical case of Road Rage and is not acceptable.

The worst thing was I was on a zebra crossing at the time, half way across when it coming straight at me, luckily enough I managed to get across. He flew by with a look of thunder on his face, I could see he looked pretty angry full of road rage.

THE DEFINITION OF ROAD RAGE

Is aggressive or angry behaviour by a driver of an automobile or another road vehicle which includes rude gestures, verbal insults, physical threats or dangerous driving methods targeted toward another driver in an effort to intimidate or release frustration. Road rage can lead to altercations, assaults and collisions that result in serious physical injuries or even death. It can be thought of as an extreme case of aggressive driving.

When you are behind a vehicle you are in charge of a dangerous machine and should be in full control, mentally, emotionally & physically.

If you are feeling angry do not get behind the wheel, calm down first.

Try not to be late all the time causing stress and rushing leading to frantic driving.

Remember it is often not the other person’s fault but yours. Even if it is not your fault you do not have the right to hurt or abuse others. Think about how you would feel if a person close to you was a victim of Road Rage.

Behind all cases of anger, there is a cause, anger is a symptom, you need to get to the root cause of the problem and sort it out.

Teenager Checking Their Mobile Phones?

4:45 pm by Kathy Rustell Leave a Comment

Is Your Teenager Checking Their Mobile Phone During The Night? Almost half of all teenagers are checking their mobile phones after bed time. A survey of 11-18-year-olds found that 10% check their mobile phones up to 10 times a night for notifications, texts and emails

teenager on phone Headmasters’ and Headmistresses’ are finding pupils are coming to school tired and unable to concentrate. There is definitely an impact on children attending lessons when they are not having a good nights sleep.

Digital Awareness UK carried out the survey and of the 45% of the pupils surveyed are checking their mobile phones during the night when they should be sleeping are on Social Media checking to make sure they do not miss out on posts.

Some admit to just listening to music or watching films

The findings also show:

68% of all respondents say using their mobile devices at night affects their school work
a quarter says they feel tired during the day because of how often they use their mobile device at night
almost half (42%) keep their phone next to their bed at night

Whatever age you are, excessive social media consumption is affecting our physical and emotional wellbeing, especially children. Some are waking up with over 100 notifications from conversations that have happened overnight. They feel overwhelmed with what they are missing out on what is happening in their groups or just general social media gossip.

We have become slaves to technology It’s not that this technology is all bad and terrible It is more a case that the reality is technology is here to say and we just need to use it in a positive way.

5 screen-time tips

Do not use your mobile phone or laptop/tablets 90 minutes before bedtime
Turn your phone to silent or better still turn the phone off altogether if you can
Change the brightness on your phone this can be done in the settings area
Try and break the habit of checking your mobile phone all the time even during the day
Ideally keep your phone away from the bed so you cannot see it or hear it and have to actually get out of bed which most people will steer away from

Go for a Digital Detox once a week for 3 hours- take a break from devices altogether turn them off. You can start this as 1 hours to try it then build up to 3 hours. At first, you will feel quite lost but as you get used to it you will feel free and not tied waiting for the next notification to arrive.